As most of us know, the Buffet plan is a simply plan that calls for millionaires to pay the same percentage in actual income as those in the middle class. It is inspired by billionaire Warren Buffet who actually believes he should pay more. However, considering that the avid Fox viewer has the political acumen and knowledge of a rabies infected dog, here is how I think they should play it. I will borrow from several styles.
You knew this would happen. It began with the health care plan that was an attack on your freedom. He inserted little things that hinted at this conclusion. He proposed a tax on cokes. He said you had to get health care coverage, Heck, he even threw out buzz words like "preventative medicine." The evidence is there as clear as day. The man is a bean pole. He played basketball in school and still plays pick up games at times. Now, this Buffet plan. I've drawn it up on the chalk board and the connection is easy: Barrack Obama hates fat people.
Okay, I know I know, we've gotten in trouble for saying this before, but the proof is there in front of your eyes. Why else would a man like him suggest a tax on buffets? Doesn't he know in the state of the economy that we want to get bang for our buck? Sure, he rails against the rich, against the Wall Street fat cats, and against CEOs getting golden parachutes, but there is that word again: fat.
His prejudice has been found. No wonder he doesn't like Bill Clinton. The man is a massive coronary waiting to happen. And there you have it. It all goes back to the health care thing. He wants to shove this Obamacare down your throat because he wants you to be thin and athletic. Fat people are a health risk. Fat people get costly chronic diseases like Diabetes, heart disease, and even asthma or COPD. Fat people suffer from depression and therefore spend billions collectively on anti-depressants. You saw those eggs on the Zoloft commercial. Did they look like they were ready to run a marathon to you?
The government taxes beer, they tax tobacco, and they want to tax soft drinks. What's next? Well, we found our answer. The White House won't tell you what is in this plan, but we at Fox are prepared to do it. Let's say you are going to the Golden Coral for a nice dinner with the family. It's all you can eat right? Well, under the Buffet plan that all you can eat business is a day of the past. Under the Buffet plan you get one plate of food, one salad, one drink, and a plate of dessert tax free. Every time you go for an additional plate you are charged a 50 percent tax of the buffet price. Yup, I know what you're thinking, Cici's just got way more expensive.
So, all of this talk of fairness and shared sacrifice is a bunch of bull. He wants you to sacrifice that second and third plate. The sport of competitive eating will die as we know it. Buffets around the country will close because of these odious new taxes. A president that seems so concerned about jobs and the bottom line is more concerned about your waist line. If he wants to jog and play Michael Jordan in one on one he is free to do it. Let us sit and eat our all you can eat fried shrimp and watch the game.
Here at Fox we urge you to get involved. Call your congressman and senator and tell them to stop Obama now. Tell them this Buffet plan is horrible for the common man. We can all stand to lose a few pounds, but taxing me out of my second slice of meat loaf isn't going to help. I need that second piece in case his economy will reduce me to a diet of Roman noodles or store brand soup. So, remember, tell Obama to leggo my eggo.