Chillax, as my boys
say. This is only tangentially about quantum physics.
Time really is relative.
When you are the general public waiting on someone in a
position to act during a catastrophe — like the BP oil spill – time and the
parties involved seem to move like frozen molasses.
When you are a parent, an entire year, or decade, or
lifetime can go by at Gaussian blur speed.
When you work for a private corporation and are waiting for
people to respond to internal deadlines, you can often count multiple eternities
between cricket chirps, and then hold your breath for another year as you wait
for delivery of the actual deliverables or the solution to a problem.
There are days that seem to pass in a moment, and others
that drag on interminably. Occasionally, when we make an out-loud reference to
our day’s odometer reading, we find that others may be experiencing the same
odometer reading as well. How does that happen?
Einstein called this time
dilation. (Indulge me for a moment as
I share the technical explanation, then I’ll dumb it down blonde Aggie style so
the rest of us can understand.)
technical/fancy explanation: Time dilation can arise from (1) relative
velocity of motion between the observers, and (2) difference in their distance
from gravitational mass.
time speeds up or slows down depending on how fast one thing is moving relative
to something else.
So, when some of us are moving at light speed trying to meet
a particular deadline and your molasses ass is barely creeping along, we’re
going to perceive the approach of the impending deadline a little differently
than you are, and then we’re going to help you feel it. We will also eventually
put as much distance as possible between ourselves and the black hole of your
worthlessness so that we’re not sucked into the vortex that will become the end
of your career/livelihood/existence, if we have anything to do with it.
In other words, if you’re not moving quickly enough to meet
the demand, beat the deadline, minimize the disaster, hasten the response,
clean up the mess, lead the team to the finish line, stop stalling and
obfuscating and GET OUT OF THE WAY AND LET SOMEONE COMPETENT TAKE CARE OF IT.
Are you listening, BP? MMS? Politicians? Wall Street execs?
Bankers? Corporate Titans?
The rest of us can not be your janitors forever.