I am a really popular guy around these parts these days. With my clumsy use of the despicable Mr. Bauer I figured I should parlay this high popularity to put forth the following modest proposal. I want to talk about man loved and adored by all. He is a humanitarian and renaissance man. I am talking about the one and only Richard Cheney. He may have only advanced to the humble position of vice president, but he utilized the high influence and importance of his position to reach heights no vice president has ever reached.
Sure, he manufactured a war on false pretenses and lied to the American public. Still, he is no waffler. He has maintained his same WMD story long after it has been proven false. You have to admire a man that will stick to the same lie through thick and thin. How often do you see our political leaders change their minds when new evidence comes to light? It's almost as if they are governed by some kind of foreign power known as rationality. Here's to the courage of one who has taken a stance and stuck to that stance despite all evidence to the contrary.
Okay, okay fine, he parlayed two foreign wars into billions of dollars for the company that he was once a CEO for. What's wrong with that? Are you telling me that this is some sort of crime? Oh wait a minute, I guess it is, but it was for the greater good. Call him the Robin Hood of the new millennium. It is oh so boring to steal from the rich and give to the poor. The 21st century avenger steals from the taxpayer and gives to the billionaire. So, he's not a crook, he's an innovator.
Richard Cheney is also a brave patriot. Those ACLU and Amnesty International whackos have this weird notion that accused terrorists and potential collaborators should have some human rights. Rights smites. The notion of rights of the accused has only been around since 1215. Maybe we should wait until jurisprudence is at least 800 years old before we rush to judgment on this. I mean, maybe this is just a passing fad. Kudos to Cheney for defending torture. Sure, it's cruel and it makes America look bad. Sure, torture doesn't lead to any good information. You are saying this as if those are important points to make. It is more important that people think we are tough and strong then they actually want to work with us and that we have an actual policy that works. A true visionary this Cheney.
Finally, you get the inevitable financial crash. This is where Cheney and his minions shine. Nothing says support for your struggling populace like a bail-out to their bankers and spending American lives, American money, and American brainpower thousands of miles from home. Don't you know that putting food on your table and a roof over your head is less important than defeating the Taliban? Come on people, get with the program. Sure, your retirement fund might be in the toilet, but Saddam Hussein is dead. Twenty years from now when you aren't taking that vacation you always wanted you can feel better knowing a third rate pesky dictator was assassinated by a government propped up by our government and the great Dick Cheney.
Sure, thousands of Iraqi citizens and Afghan citizens are dead. They didn't do anything wrong, but let's be honest with ourselves. We are expecting less of our children in our schools so why not less of our leaders? Cheney killed in the thousands, but Hitler and Stalin killed in the millions. Leaders like Chairman Mao and Fidel Castro ruined their nations' economies for more than a generation. Sure, he wrongfully imprisoned some innocent people, but Roosevelt and Truman had their internment camps. He's not as bad as those guys, so he might as well me man of the year right?
I sense some manlove betwixt cg and Scott? >;p
Dont forget his Igor, Scooter Libby...BON, i couldnt remember the worms name, and i googled, Dick Cheneys fall guy and bingo! Or his faithful lapdog, er, daughter...Liz!
I wonder if ole dick realizes the hypocrisy of the wisdom stated, and the materials used to make it?? Prolly not, lol!
But can a traitor be "Man of the Year"? Outing an active spy during wartime is an act of treason, he should have given up some of that 'blood to water the tree of Liberty' imho.
Scott: Popularity is a fickle mistress. I'm sorry, I thought that dick Cheney would attract a lot of attention and responses. He' such an inspiring individual. Go figure.
Maybe a lot of people took off early today.
"Battle Hymn of the Republic" fades out.......
...
...
...
Dick Cheney, the man who made the name "Dick" really MEAN what it does today.
FL wrote: Last time I checked more than 300 people are missing from the Bush/Cheney secret prisons... Presumed tortured to death and disappeared
----------------------
Only 300? You call that a LOT? Man's gotta have a hobby.
John Nance Garner, one of the VP's under FDR, was quoted as saying "The job of vice-president isn't worth a bucket of warm spit."
That dick Cheney proved he was wrong. Cheney actually RULED the United States for a period of time and he did it from a secret bunker in Virginia where NOBODY could get at him, subsisting on bottled water an old WWII C-rations. (He personally sacrificed allowing valuable MRE's to be distributed to our troops so they had decent food to eat while they conducted their patrols without body-protective vests in unarmored Humvees. Of the umteen gazillion dollar$$ we spent on defense there was no money left for flak jackets for our infantrymen or steel plating for their "UN-armored personnel carriers)
HE made the decisions that shaped a decade AND allowed his boss to take ALL the credit. Upon leaving his bunker, he made regular appearances before his subjects on the Sunday political talk shows. Always the humble man, he took on ALL questions and questionners and answered with a smile on his face and a rosey hue in his cheeks all the while calling Tim Russert, George Stephapopadopolous and that old guy on CBS 'ASSHOLES" under his breath.
His last act as "acting king" was to severly injur himself moving his mountain of humanitarian awards out of Blair House to his multi-million$$$ mansion paid for by generous "gifts" to HIS WIFE from Halliburton/KBR. Prior to leaving office he directed his "compound" be forever removed from Google maps and "off limits" from recon satellites. Only fair for a public servant that has given so much to so few.
Over his desk, he had a plague. It read (engraved in 18 karat gold on a platinum base)
Ephesians 21:13-18 "He who exalts himself shall be humbled and he who humbles himself shall be exalted
Most can't remember but a few vice presidents over the years. But the name of that dick Cheney will live on "in infamy".
(Commence playing "Battle Hymn of the Republic" now.)
Great one, Scott. A dreary day here in South Texas. Not far from where Dick almost took out a Lawyer, so your premise is valid. But you did lighten it up some.
Scott, you stupid *!!*##*,
In twenty years I'll be dead! Where you get your logic not even God will ever know!
respectfully,
Closet Conservative
I LOL'd.
Carguy, this was for you, my most dedicated reader. Let's hear from you.
Wow, you really did it Scott.
Carguy, you are an amazing influence…you must be one of them pod people!
Can you convince all of the Hurricane homies to donate to my beer fund? Which I will of course gladly pay back next Tuesday…
After a year of torturing suspected terrorists, the CIA told Bush and Cheney that there was no link between Iraq and Al Qaeda. In fact they discovered that the Baathists and Al Qaeda were enemies. Bush and Cheney said the interrogators had missed something and to continue torturing suspects till they got what they needed.
Last time I checked more than 300 people are missing from the Bush/Cheney secret prisons... Presumed tortured to death and disappeared.