Yet another Republican with a hotline to God. This time it's that old Appalachian Trail hiker himself, Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina:"Mr. Sanford vowed not to quit despite growing pressure from South Carolina lawmakers and Republican Party officials to resign or face impeachment. He said he intends to complete his term, not to hold on to power but to fight for conservative principles of governance.
"I feel absolutely committed to the cause, to what God wanted me to do with my life," he said in an interview. "I have got this blessing of being engaged in a fight for liberty, which is constantly being threatened."
Presumably those "conservative principles" for which Governor Sanford is fighting don't include family values and the sanctity of marriage.
And isn't it curious how God only talks to one of these jokers after they get busted? I don't know what the flight time is from Atlanta to Buenos Aires, but it must have been long enough for God to whisper in the governor's ear, "Hey yo stupid, you're a married man, you have 4 children and it's freakin' Father's Day. Go home!"
But being the naturally inquisitive person that I am, I wanted to see if was there was any basis for Sanford's claim that God wants him to be governor. So I searched the scriptures diligently until I found this obscure and often overlooked passage which seems to confirm what he is saying. It's from the Gospel According to Mark (Sanford) Chapter 1, verses 1-4.
1) Thou art Mark, of the tribe of Sanford, and thee have I chosen to be ruler of the land which lieth between the peoples of the Tarheels to the north, the Inbred Crackers to the south, and the great ocean to the east. It shall be called South Carolina and thou shalt sitteth upon it's throne all the days of thy life.
2) And these are the words which God spaketh to Mark after he returneth from his missionary (position) journey to the land called Argentina.
3) Yea, even though thou hast lied to thy wife and thy staff about thine whereabouts for many days, and even though thou leaveth thy four children on Father's Day and spendeth the taxpayers money to flieth to the land of Argentina to screweth thy mistress,
4) Because thy God feeleth sorry for thee, knowing that thy wife is about to taketh thee to the cleaners in the Court which is called Divorce, He will alloweth thee to remain on the throne of the place called South Carolina, and He shall surely smite all those who try to impeacheth thee, and bring many plagues upon their houses. Amen.
I see now another SC state senator has come forward with a pretty powerful demand that Sanford be removed. The senator alleges a Sanford-back smear campaign against the Lt. Gov. promoting the rumor that the Lt. Gov is gay.
http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/knotts_letter.pdf
Glad these people are Republicans.
A new version... The Desperado Bible.
Why don't you comeith to thine senses...
9 days off the grid is dereliction of duty, which should be an impeachable offense, if it isnt. If, a riot were to have broken out in SC, would, or even, SHOULD, the SC govt/natl guard take directives from someone out of country w/o up-to-date intel, given he would let someone know where he was, IF, he wasnt too busy "missioning" to watch the news? (since hes the C-in-C for the nattys, would he be considered AWOL? Thats a capital offense during wartime.)Would SC have to send a charter to get him? Or would PO send AF1 at SC taxpayer expense? What would happen to a doctor "on-call" for an ER room, that was found to be out of country?
Des, my friend, you have a future in writing for television.
My guess is that he'll run for President next, and get elected like W, because he has repented and been saved.
Serious suckage going on here.
He got nailed red-handed?
Well....he certainly got nailed.
What absolutely infuriates me is the hypocrisy of these cretins.
They piled on the Lewinsky scandal, calling for Clinton's resignation or impeachment.
Yeah.......karma's a bitch, ain't it?
But like I said before, maybe ol' Sanford's office staff just got confused.
"Appalachian Trail"
"Argentinian Tail".
I hope Jenny Sanford takes care of him. Permanent life as a soprano maybe?
I believe it was his wife and staff who were getting the tale.
I guess God spoke to him while he was getting some Argentinean tail.
I guess God spoke to him while he was getting some Argentinean tale.
God speaks to wayward politicians in mighty strange ways!
At least James McGreevey and Elliot Spitzer had the decency to resign....
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Editor's Note: Interesting how Larry Craig, and David Vitter didn't, though. Why is it that Dems resign when caught in a scandal, and Repubs stubbornly hang on?
Jefe
I think it incumbent on someone to clarify the distinction between this republican governor and our former president, Bill Clinton.
First off, Clinton "did NOT have sex WITH that woman, Ms. Lewinsky". He had sex FROM her.
Secondly, he was NEVER completely undressed. And, apparently, neither was she.
Clinton was IN the Oval office, AT his desk, ready and ABLE to handle any domestic or international crisis that might have arisen. Phone right next to him. Pants, at the ready.
His staff knew WHERE he was the whole time.
Lastly, for you environmentalists, he didn't even actually SMOKE the cigar which is full of carcinogens, nicotene and arsenic.
There. I have a rule which I always adhere to, and I'm not even a public servant. "Don't have sex with another woman, not your wife, on another continent, unless you just happen to be there on business, anyway." :-)
Were citizens hurt? Well, the governor was unavailable even to his staff for days. Who knows what might have happened when he was AWOL? That's pretty irresponsible. And he lied to his staff - and his constituents - until he got nailed red-handed getting off the plane.
Mark Sanford is part of the same GOP that demanded Clinton's removal from office for much the same thing. Except that Clinton never left the Oval Office, so the AWOL part doesn't apply.
The fact that so many other Republicans got caught in similar circumstances blunts their feigned moral outrage. I mean, Larry Craig got convicted of a sex crime but lacked the integrity to step down when it was revealed. Sen. Vitter got caught with a hooker. Limbaugh got caught coming back into the country with condoms, Viagra and hillbilly heroin. Morals they got none of. Zero, diddly squat.
The sex isn't the issue. It's the irresponsibility, the condemnation of improper acts by others while committing the same acts themselves. And now refusing to be held accountable because god is on his side. I'd vote to remove him just for being stupid enough to say that.
Ultimately, I ask the following question: were the citizens hurt by this? I usually say no, but the aspect of public money being used to travel there makes this a bit murky. While I may find the behavior personally repugnant, unless he has committed some sort of crime I say he should stay until the people vote his butt out.
Nope. The whole affair suggests the gnostics were right, and that the Demiurge is in fact at work in this world. You certainly can't blame them for that hypothesis, in any event.
If Sanford keeps his seat, then does this mean that we can officially giggle and scoff and stare in fascination at the sexual foibles of our elected officials, without howling about throwing them out of office for exercising them (unless, of course, those foibles are crimes with victims)? As much as I _loooove_ to see the Republicans squirm over this stuff, I think the French approach is the correct one in these sorts of cases.
It's what God wants. I think it's baloney, myself, but the reality is that millions of people say that every day about some decision they have made in their own lives. And not all of them are crazy. Let me take that back - they have deluded themselves, or been persuaded by others similarly delusional.
Personally, I don't think god would be that much of a jerk, inflicting Mark Sanford - or many other self righteous elected officials - on us. I mean, George W. Bush believed himself ordained by god to be president and said so many times. Remember the movie "Jesus Camp" and the image of little kids actually praying to GW's picture? How seriously screwed up will they be?
It's going to be interesting to see whether the SC legislature removes Sanford from office. Lying about public policy issues isn't grounds. Cheating on your wife isn't grounds. But maybe cheating and lying and using tax dollars to fly first class to cheat, and then defying them to remove him while proclaiming god is on his side - that might do it.
I don't think Craig was a member but Sanford, Ensign and also Chip Pickering were members. The group is called "the Family". There were also some Dem members as well but Sanford and Ensign were the most well known. Best known for giving Clinton advice and cries of impeachment during the Monica scandal. Typical hypocritical behavior of our elected officials.
I don't think Craig was a member but Sanford, Ensign and also Chip Pickering were members. The group is called "the Family". There were also some Dem members as well but Sanford and Ensign were the most well known. Best known for giving Clinton advice and cries of impeachment during the Monica scandal. Typical hypocritical behavior of our elected officials.
I'm convinced that Republicans have gone bat shit crazy.
Thanks for the early morning laugh Des. As Roger Waters once said, "And if the band your in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon." We'll be seeing Sanford there after he defies his own party.
That was a RIOT. Been dealing with a lot of crap here at work. That made my day.
OTOH, I don't think a governor of either party should resign or be impeached for gettin' a little nookie on the side "provided" it's on another continent AND in another hemisphere.
OTOOH, I'm pretty sure that those who quote God or claim to be serving HIS wishes after gettin' caught "hikin' the Appplachian trail" are likely to be in for a big surprise at the Pearly Gates. We ALL know that God gets upset when people take his name in vane. (Isn't that an amendment or something???) I'll bet when people "speak for him" that's pretty irritating too.
"engaged in a fight for liberty with is constantly being threatened"
yeah RIGHT, tell me....isn't it a LITTLE uncomfortable to sit astride the mighty thews of a noble white stallion and charge down the enemies of liberty with broadsword agleam in the light of God's eye when one left ones PANTS in argentina?
(just sayin'....it's bound to chafe Mr. Happy & the boys)
Was Larry Craig part of that fraternity ?
When you live in a fantasy world such as these people do, you can convince yourself of anything.
Shortstuff, these Jesus "finders" (including Ensign) are or were members at one time of that wierd C street "members only" religious boarding prayer house. Makes you wonder what was really going on.
Good one Des! And Gov. Sanford would say, please don't cry for me IN Argentina!
OK, Des, I'm ROFLMAO!
That's priceless.
I do find it "interesting" that these dirtbags "find Jesus" after they find...well, something else.
What a lying sleazebag hypocrite.
And he shalt not use the publics gelt to travel to the land of the Argentines no more, lest he feel the wrath of the peoples. Lo, if he obeyeth the peoples will, they will forgive him his transgressions and anoint him the King of the Southern Carolina for they art inbred and stupid.
Thanks for this!
Great start to my morning . .
God has a special love for Dumpster Divers - no doubt!
Too funny!!! Great post!
Yes, a missionary position in Argentina can cause serious life changing realizations. More like - "Every man for himself!!!" Arrrrrgggh!!!!
Oh my Gosh I am laughing so hard.... great stuff..